


Chop Chop!

by shittystorywriter



Category: South Park
Genre: Comedy, Delusion, Fantasy, Imagination, M/M, Master/Slave, Narcissism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 21:29:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20645963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shittystorywriter/pseuds/shittystorywriter
Summary: Cartman is super rich, hot, kewl, and living a fabulous life, with Kyle as his obedient slave. This is a typical day for them.





	Chop Chop!

"Oh Kyleee!" Cartman called, standing in the marble living room of his three story mansion. He looked totally buff and ripped, in his muscle T-shirt and tight jeans. Some people said he was the hottest guy in town. So hot, that ladies and gentlemen alike turned their heads wherever he went. He was also undoubtedly the toughest guy in LA. Nobody dared to mess with him, especially not his slave boy Kahl, who obeyed his every command like a faithful servant.

"Yes, master?" Kyle replied, wearing a little bell collar around his neck.

"I want chocolate. Now," Cartman demanded, rubbing his belly - which happened to be perfectly flat with six pack abs.

Kyle nodded. "Okay master. What kind of chocolate? By the way, did I mention you are the most handsomest and kewlest man in the universe? I can't wait to suck your balls later tonight!"

"Calm down you dirty ho. Anyway, I want some of the gourmet chocolate from that fancy candy store on Rodeo Drive. You can be the chauffeur and drive me there. Now, chop chop!" Cartman replied with a clap, pulling out the keys to his Lamborghini and handing them to Kyle.

"Yes, master," Kyle replied like a robot, taking the keys with a bow and heading out the door.

Cartman smiled smugly at his slave's obedience, admiring his ass as they left the house. Kyle held the car door open for him and he slid inside. Then Kyle got into the driver's seat and took off, the engine purring as they sped down the palm tree lined streets of the gated community in which they lived.

"After we get chocolate, I want to stop at the supermarket. I wanna get a roasted chicken," Cartman informed, adjusting his designer sunglasses.

"As you wish," Kyle replied automatically.

"And maybe, since you've been such a good boy lately, I'll get some cherries and whipped cream to put on my balls for you. Would you like a scrotum sundae, Kahl?"

"Oh wow, that would be awesome," Kyle replied, grinning and looking at Cartman with excitement.

He accidentally got distracted and swerved the car while staring at the most hottest man in the universe, causing a car behind them to beep. Kyle quickly regained control of the vehicle and focused back on the road. "Woops."

"Kahl, I know I'm ridiculously sexy and all, but keep your eyes on the road! I can't have you wrecking my precious baby. I worked hard for this sweet ride!" Cartman complained. "You're lucky I even give you the privilege of driving it. Dumb Jews can't drive for shit."

Kyle frowned. "I know, I'm such a stupid Jew, and I'm sorry. Can I still have whipped cream?"

Cartman smirked. "Only if you beg."

"Pleeease put whipped cream on your tasty balls for me," Kyle begged.

"No no no, I want you to beg me later. In our bedroom, on your knees!"

"Okay, master. You're sooo awesome and hot," Kyle replied, grinning.

"I know, you already told me twenty times today. Keep it in your pants, you pervert!" Cartman rolled his eyes.

"I can't help it, you're just sooo amazing and kewl, Cartman. I think - sometimes I think you might even be God himself in human form. I've been considering renouncing Judaism to worship you instead!" Kyle replied earnestly.

"Oh, wow, Kahl! You're going to stop being a dumb Jew for me?" Cartman blushed. "That's so flattering."

"Of course! Blessed is the Lord Cartman, and blessed are his succulent balls!" Kyle announced, as he pulled into the parking lot of the gourmet candy store.

"You're such a devoted slaveboy," Cartman said, leaning in to pet Kyle's face.

And then, they leaned in and began to kiss passionately, with their hot tongues-

Stan: What the fuck?

Cartman: Stan?! What the hell are you doing in my fantasy?

Stan: Umm..I don't know? I kind of fell into this weird portal in South Park, and somehow ended up in your imagination.

Cartman: Well get the fuck out! You aren't supposed to be here!

Stan: I can't! I told you, I fell into a portal and don't know how to get out. I've spent hours trying to escape. First I ended up in some freaky house full of mirrors, getting chased by killer clowns. I finally got out of there, took a right turn through a forest of dead babies and some other crazy shit, and now I'm here. No way in hell I'm turning around and going through all that again. God, your mind is fucked up.

Cartman: Ugh, fuck. How much of my mind did you see?

Stan: Enough. More than enough.

Cartman: Sorry Stan, but I'm afraid I'll have to kill you.

Stan: No, wait! But you can't kill me if I'm imaginary, right?

Cartman: How would I know? I can't risk the chance.

Stan: Please dude, I promise I won't tell anyone about what I saw.

Cartman: You won't tell Kyle?

Stan: He wouldn't believe me even if I did! Just let me go, jesus Christ.

Cartman: Okay, Stan. I'll let you go. Only because you're not a dumb Jew like Kyle, and plus if I kill you we'll never hear him stop bitching about it. But if you utter a peep of this to him or anyone else, I WILL kill your dog and feed it to you. Capeesh?

Stan: Alright, alright!

Cartman: I'm imagining you back in your bedroom, and when you wake up all of this will have seemed like a dream. Remember, keep quiet or your dog gets whacked.

Stan slowly opened his eyes and saw darkness all around him. He realized that he was, in fact, back in his bedroom. Phew. Must of just been a bad dream. He looked down at his dog, who was laying safely at the edge of his bed. He sat up and petted him, feeling his heartbeat to ensure he was alive. Of course he was, it was just a bad dream, nothing more.

Then his phone buzzed. He leaned over and looked at it. He had gotten a text message from Cartman. Reluctantly, he opened it up. There in the message was an emoji of a dog and a skull together.

He quickly threw the phone under his bed and pulled the bed cover over himself, shivering. He'd be keeping a safe distance from their crazy "friend" from now on.


End file.
